Bonus: Live
From the theatre that is Yorkville, Hoo-ha!
Woman, bleach-white bouffant hair radiating from behind tinted windows in the distance, stops her Bentley in the middle of the road. Car parked, she emerges dressed head to toe in designer white. Quilted accessories. Gold trimmings. Ageing-Beauty-Pageant-Queen-meets-Televangelist's-Wife. Walks towards café, chubby feet stuffed into size 5 high-heels. Single-handedly creates a traffic jam two blocks long. Exits café. Saunters back to her vehicle. Slowly. Daintily. Obliviously. Her high-pitched, soft-spoken answer to the string of obscenities flying towards her: ‘What? I was here first.’